Reclaiming yourself through travel

As you start your first solo travel, you might notice straight away that, suddenly you can hear yourself think for what feels like the first time in years. And it can be deeply, wildly uncomfortable. For about a day. And then it's the best thing that's ever happened to you.

You get a front-row seat to your own inner monologue, running uninterrupted, with nobody around to nudge it in a different direction. And what I discovered somewhere around a solo dinner in a country where I don't speak the language, is that a worrying amount of that inner voice isn't actually mine. It's a highlight reel of everyone else's opinions, playing on a loop as if it were my own personal wisdom.

“You should see the main square, everyone says it's a must. You can't skip the famous viewpoint, you'll regret it. Three days here isn't enough, you need at least a week to "do it properly."“

Whose voice is that, exactly? Because on day four, alone, with nothing but your own company and a very good pastry, I promise you it starts to sound suspiciously like a group chat you're not even in anymore.

The tyranny of the 10 landmarks

I love a good landmark. I am not about to tell you the Eiffel Tower is overrated. But somewhere along the way, especially on social media, travel got turned into a checklist : the 10 things, the 5 must-sees, the "if you only do one thing" and it became less about experiencing a place and more about collecting proof you were there. If you open Tik Tok today and put the name of any touristy destinations, you just see hundreds of videos with exactly the same recommendations.

So here's your permission slip, from someone who's done both versions: it is completely, wonderfully fine to skip the landmark. It’s also fine to try a random cafe or do an activity that’s not been recommended by social media. Some of my favourite days abroad involved absolutely nothing Instagrammable. Staying 4 days in a boutique hotel in remote Bali reading books with a sea view, getting invited by my taxi driver in Sri Lanka to eat, at his house, with his family or simply sitting in cafes in Vietnam people-watching. None of that makes a "top 10" list. All of it made the trip memorable.

The version of a trip that's "worth it" is the one that's worth it to you. Not the one that photographs well, not the one your friend raved about, not the one 47 blog posts told you not to miss. If you want to spend four days doing nothing but drinking coffee and watching a city go about its ordinary life, that's not you doing travel wrong. That might be you finally doing it right.

Proving to yourself you can do the things you didn't think you could

Another thing solo travel gives to you immediately is proving to yourself ‘you can do it’. You navigate the metro system with zero signal in Korea. You’ll jump on taxi at 1am in Bali with 4% battery on your phone to get to a random party with some girls you just met 2 hours ago. You’ll have diner on your own in that ‘romantic restaurant’ surrounded by couples. And you’ll feel incredibly free and strong about it.

Slowly, you stop needing someone else to hold your hand through minor chaos, because you've just watched yourself handle it. That's not a small thing, especially if you've come out the other side of a breakup, a bad year, or just a long stretch of feeling like you'd forgotten what you're actually capable of. Solo travel has a funny way of quietly proving to you that you're sturdier than you gave yourself credit for. And that when you do listen yourself, you can have the best time ever.

Nobody here knows who you're "supposed" to be

Let’s that sink in. Nobody you meet on a solo trip has any idea who you are back home.

That barista doesn't know you're "the quiet one" in every work meeting. That woman you got chatting to on a walking tour has no memory of the version of you that always says yes when you mean no. Out there, you get to just... try. Try being the person who talks to strangers. Try being the one who tells the joke instead of laughing at everyone else's. Try ordering the weird thing on the menu because you genuinely want to, not because you're worried what it says about you.

Nine times out of ten, you find out that reserved-at-work version of you wasn't actually you , it was just the version that felt safest around people who already had an opinion of you formed. Strip that away, even for a week, and you get to meet whoever's underneath it. Sometimes that person is a lot louder, a lot braver, and a lot more fun than you remembered.

Solo travel isn't empowering because of the landmarks, or the passport stamps, or the photo at the viewpoint everyone told you to go to. It's empowering because it's one of the only times in modern life your inner voice gets to speak without twelve other opinions shouting over it and because it proves you, again and again, that you can handle far more than the noise in your head gives you credit for.

If any of this stirred something and you've been sitting on "I should really book a solo trip" for longer than you'd like to admit , that's exactly what the Go Solo Plan is for. I'll help you build a trip that's actually yours.

Still working out where "your version" of a trip might even be? Have a read of Fear of your first solo trip: how to get past it or, if Bali's on your mind, my free guide to the best yoga studios in Bali is a good place to start dreaming.